Well, let’s talk about this butt lotion thing, you know? Some folks say you can, some say you can’t. It’s all a bit confusing if you ask me.
Can you put lotion on your butt? Sure, why not? It’s your butt, ain’t it? If it’s dry like the dirt in my garden after a long summer, then I guess you gotta do somethin’ about it. Just like you put water on them plants, you gotta put somethin’ on that dry skin.
- Dry skin ain’t fun: Nobody wants skin that feels like sandpaper, not on your hands, not on your face, and sure as heck not on your behind. So, yeah, lotion can help with that. Makes it all soft and smooth like a baby’s bottom, or so they say. I ain’t touched no baby’s bottom in years, mind you.
- Chafing is a pain: You know, when your thighs rub together and it gets all red and sore? Lotion can help with that too. It’s like puttin’ grease on a squeaky wheel. Makes things slide better, you see. Especially if you’re walkin’ around a lot or workin’ hard.
But then there’s this talk about puttin’ lotion in your butt. Now, that’s where it gets a little weird, if you ask me. I mean, why would you wanna do that? It ain’t like your insides are dry, are they? That’s what folks are sayin’ on the internet, though. They say it ain’t good for ya. Somethin’ about gettin’ things all messed up down there. Infections and such. Sounds like a whole lot of trouble to me.
What kind of lotion are we talkin’ about? That’s important too. You wouldn’t put the same stuff you put on your hands on your face, would ya? Well, same goes for your butt, I reckon. There’s special stuff for down there, the doctors say. For women, anyway. They got their own problems, bless their hearts. Dryness and whatnot. They got creams and things for that. But for your regular old butt cheeks? Just regular lotion should do the trick, I guess. Nothin’ fancy.
Now, some folks are sayin’ you gotta be careful about keepin’ things clean down there. Washin’ and all that. Seems like common sense to me, but I guess some folks need to be told. And they say don’t go overdoin’ it with the washin’ or the wipin’. You can hurt yourself doin’ that. Just like you can hurt yourself by not washin’ enough. It’s all about findin’ the right balance, you know?
And then there’s this talk about diet and bowel movements and how it all affects your…well, your backside. Makes sense, I guess. If you’re eatin’ junk all the time, things ain’t gonna be workin’ right down there. And if things ain’t workin’ right, then maybe you’ll get all dried out or somethin’. So, eatin’ good is important. Fruits and vegetables, just like your mama told ya. And drinkin’ enough water, too. Gotta keep things movin’ along, if you catch my drift.
So, to get back to the question: can you put lotion in your butt? Well, on your butt, yes. Inside your butt? Probably not a good idea. Stick to the outside, that’s what I say. And if you’re havin’ problems down there, go see a doctor. Don’t be listenin’ to all them folks on the internet. They don’t know nothin’, half of ‘em.
Keepin’ things simple is usually the best way. Wash good, eat good, and if your skin is dry, put some lotion on it. But don’t go stickin’ things where they don’t belong. That’s just askin’ for trouble. And remember, takin’ care of your body is important, from head to toe, and yes, that includes your behind.
And one more thing. If you’re putting lotion on your butt, make sure your hands are clean. You don’t wanna be spreadin’ germs around, now do ya? That’s just common sense, but sometimes common sense ain’t so common anymore, if you know what I mean.
So there you have it. My two cents on this whole butt lotion business. Take it or leave it. It ain’t rocket science, just plain old common sense.
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