Well, howdy there! Let’s talk about somethin’ serious, somethin’ that sticks to ya like mud on boots – childhood hurts, ya know? Them things that happened way back when, they ain’t just gone and forgotten, no sirree. They kinda hang around, like a bad smell you can’t get rid of. We’re talkin’ about external validation childhood trauma, big words for feelin’ bad ’bout yourself ’cause of what happened when you was just a little tyke.
Now, I ain’t no fancy doctor or nothin’, but I seen a thing or two. Kids, they get hurt. Sometimes it’s by the folks that’s supposed to love ’em the most. And that hurts deep, down to the bone. It makes ’em feel ashamed, like they done somethin’ wrong, even when they didn’t. This shame, it ain’t nothin’ nice. It clings to ya, tells ya you ain’t worth a lick. It’s like carryin’ around a sack of rocks, always weighin’ ya down.
I heard tell there’s stages to gettin’ better from this kinda hurt. Stages, like growin’ corn, I reckon. First, ya don’t even know why you’re feelin’ so bad. Then, things start comin’ back to ya, bits and pieces of what happened. That’s like plowin’ the field, turnin’ over the dirt. It ain’t pretty, but ya gotta do it.
- Pre-awareness: That’s when you’re just feelin’ bad but don’t know why. Like a toothache you can’t quite put your finger on.
- Uncovering: This here is when things start bubblin’ up, memories and such. It’s like openin’ up a dusty old trunk and finding things you thought you lost.
- Digging in: This is the hard part, like pullin’ weeds. You gotta really wrestle with them bad memories and feelings.
- Healing: Finally, things start gettin’ better. Like a plant that’s been watered, you start growin’ again.
- Understanding: You start makin’ sense of it all, why things happened the way they did. It’s like lookin’ at a map and seein’ where you’ve been and where you’re goin’.
And then there’s the parents, the ones that done the hurtin’, maybe without even knowin’ it. They got their own hurts, I reckon. Hurts passed down like old furniture, from one generation to the next. It’s like a chain, clangin’ along, and it’s hard to break. But ya gotta try, for the sake of the little ones. Ya gotta talk, be honest, even when it’s harder than chewin’ on a rock.
One thing I know for sure is that kids need safe places and folks that care about ‘em. They need to feel loved and secure, like a little chick under its mama’s wing. If they don’t get that, well, it’s like tryin’ to grow a plant in dry, cracked dirt. It just ain’t gonna thrive.
Gettin’ better ain’t the same for everyone, ya know. For some folks, it’s like a quick patch-up job, and they’re good as new. For others, it takes longer, like mendin’ a torn quilt. It takes time, patience, and a whole lotta stitchin’. And sometimes, even when ya think you’re all fixed up, a little piece of that hurt comes back, like a splinter ya didn’t get all the way out.
So, what can ya do? Well, first off, ya gotta recognize that there’s a problem. Can’t fix a leaky roof if ya don’t know it’s leakin’, right? Then, ya gotta find someone to talk to, someone who’ll listen without judgin’. Someone who understands that sometimes the worst hurts are the ones you can’t see. It ain’t easy, but it’s worth it. ‘Cause carryin’ around all that hurt, well, it ain’t no way to live. It’s like walkin’ through life with your shoes full of gravel – painful and slow. It’s time to take them rocks outta your shoes, friend.
And remember, generations are affected. It’s like a echo that keeps bouncing around. If you don’t stop it, your young’uns and their young’uns gonna be carryin’ the same weight. It’s time to put down the load, time to heal and grow, like a strong oak tree that can weather any storm.
So, take a deep breath, and start takin’ them steps towards feelin’ better. It’s a long road, but you ain’t alone. And remember, you’re stronger than you think. You got this.
Tags: [Childhood Trauma, Trauma Healing, External Validation, Shame, Generational Trauma, ACEs, Emotional Healing, Family Trauma, Mental Health, Recovery Stages]
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